In Memory of the Car Brochure: AKA The Terrestrial Configurator

For this Classic Car Podcast episode, Brian and Andrew take a nostalgic journey through the golden age of automotive brochures, exploring how these marketing masterpieces shaped car culture from the 1950s through to the 1980s and beyond. From Ford's aspirational photography to BMC's airbrushed illustrations, we discuss the art, copy, and social history captured in these colourful documents.

In a desperate attempt to be on trend, we pay a visit to the Renault Boutique and ponder some questionable wheel trims and whether or not we should have gone on to the online configurator and bought some £8000 special paint!

Why every Ford dealer needs to have a record player in the back of a Cortina.

If you don't buy a Traction Avant and buy a Maxi instead, we will report you to the headmaster.

Well, you could have had a Mercedes Benz 200 if you wanted to, but the Morris Ital beckons...it's a bit of a neck snapper.

"Richard, it's time for a Vanden Plas dear, but not in that jacket!"

Why you need a tough truck chassis made of paper.

The Austin Lancer: "Powered for rocketing performance" 

"Closing the doors requires only the lightest effort."  By whom?  (Wolseley 6/99 - disputed by Andrew).

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:16

Hi, good evening, and welcome to the Three on the Column podcast with Brian Thomas and Andrew Roberts.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Hi, Andrew, how are you? Good evening, Brian. Today you catch me returning to my very, very, very distant childhood, but it wasn't like the Flintstones, well, not quite, you know, the dinosaurs had gone from the regions of Hampshire by then. It's 1977, and I am in receipt from that well-known dealer, Carters of Swannick, purveyors of fine Fords, the latest all-model Ford brochure, October 1977. Wow, I'm impressed. And so you should be. I mean, look at the marvellous cars on display there. I mean, this is the first one. What have we got? Well, this is of course the year of the new Ford Granada Mark II. Oh, yes. 1977 was also the year that UK sales began of the Ford Fiesta. Because although they were 1976, we didn't receive them until 77. And the Ford Cortina, VL and upwards, is available with the 2.3 litre V6. Wow. Now we're talking proper engine. And here I am looking at a picture of the Ford Cortina gear in one of those marvelous Ford shades, Jupiter red. Yes, yes. I mean it makes you want you it makes you want to run out and buy one and looking at the um brochure, wear a pair of um grey flared slacks with a blazer. And it's so glamorous it doesn't, you know, it's ever it's so glamorous it uh, you know, you ignore the fact that there are various options, brackets at extra cost, clothes brackets, metallic paint, rear fog lamp, sliding rope automatic transmission, and headlamp washers. Who cares? It's a Ford Cortina gear, or you could have it in Roman bronze. But what strikes me is that these Ford brochures were, I'm serious, absolute masterpieces of the craft of presentation and copywriting. They make even the most lowly spent model seem desirable. I mean, here we are at the Ford Cortina saloon, otherwise known as the Cortina Base. Let's have a look at its luxury equipment. Reversing lights, radial ply tyres, heated rear window, servo assisted front disc brakes. If you want fabric, trim and reclining front seats, you need to aspire to the L.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

And it's interesting, sorry Andrew, it's interesting. They they always showed it with the optional fabric seats, didn't they? Because the vinyl seats never looked good in the brochure.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

No, particularly if they're dark coloured. There's something about black vinyl that is remarkably sorry to any owners of cars of black vinyl or the poles. They do, to give them credit, show the wonderfully sparsely equipped dashboard. Yeah. You know, you won't be confused by the controls there. They barely are. But it also highlights, you know, how good looking the Ford Cortina Mark IV was, and it would make you want to own, make you want to own one. Yes. Each car is given extra weight. I don't know if I'm right in saying this, but I'm pretty sure that in some Renault model brochures of the same era, you never saw the L. The L was listed, but I don't think you ever saw a picture of the L. You had it written that life began at the TL. The L seemed to be the um unwanted member of the family at a wedding.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

Yes. The interesting thing with the the Ford brochure was was really quite large, sort of full A4 size. But if I remember rightly, the Renault all model brochure was more like a sort of a travel guide size. Certainly the ones I had from about sort of 78, 79, and had everything from what would have been a very slim down sort of Renault 4, um, which I think was probably like the 1100 GTL, probably, or there might have been a TL. They had a picture of the um the van version with the little flap that lifts up above the back door, so you could stick a ladder out the top as uh you were driving along right up to the sort of 30 and the uh sort of 20 range, but it was like a little AA guide, wasn't it? The Renault range.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Same dimensions of the AA drive magazine. And at the back of the Renault brochure, you have the Renault Boutique. Boutique, yes. Yes, I remember. You too can make your Renault 12TL look like a complete nightmare.

SPEAKER_03 4:57

Yes. It was big on the mud flaps, and it had a close-up which showed the inner part clean wheel arch, which proved that you didn't get any understeel on the wheel arches when you had a close-up of the wheel, and they'd have sort of um, and I can't remember if they were probably hubcaps or whether they were actually alloys, but they they were very sort of busy looking wheels that you couldn't kind of imagine that anybody, or you never saw them on the road with those boutique options, but I might be wrong.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

I'm I'd be interested in asking the clubs if any boutique um equipprenaus of that era survive. I mean, and but by contrast, I'm gazing at that masterpiece of minimalism, the Mark II Ford Escort Popular. Yes. And what luxuries shall be yours? A dual line braking system. Yes. Face level ventilation. Yep. A variable control heater. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

Does that mean it can be turned down from hot or turned up from cold?

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Let's not be overambitious. This is a Ford F what popular. And driver's door-mounted mirror. I mean, better than having it mounted on the roof, I always say. Well, it is really. I mean, it's the fact that you could still buy in 1977 a car without a dipping rear view mirror. It's extraordinary. I mean, if you you had if you want the dipping mirror and extensive sound insulation and reversing lamps and that all-important fabric trim, you have to aspire to the popular plus. Yes. If you want to join the elite, if you want radial ply tires on 13-inch styled wheels, you need the L.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

It's again, obviously, this hierarchy is for the um corporate car market, the fleet buyer. But again, you look at the pictures of Popular Plus, you know, beautifully lit, wonderfully presented. No wonder people wanted these brochures. They are truly charming to have. And I remember seven thinking that a Ford Fiesta gear in one of the greatest Ford colour schemes of the 70s, Oyster Gold Metallic.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

It it has to you, you, you know, you want when there's um there's a picture of one at a what looks like a private airfield or I was gonna say is is that the one and it shows the lady, I think, doing her makeup uh with the drop-down vanity mirror in the passenger door.

SPEAKER_03 7:32

Um it is an air, I'm sure it is an air air for, but that's the gear, isn't it? That's the one.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

I think a glider and a chap looking dashing in the background. And of course, there's the um Fiesta S, the sporty side of Fiesta, being driven on the beach. It looks like it looks like Burnham, actually.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

And it's Land Jots, isn't it, with the the Land Jots with the sail behind it, if I remember rightly.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

And the best one, I think it's oddly enough, the L, which is parked on the waterfront in you know, bright green fiesta, looking wistfully out into the distance, the better to highlight, you know, its reversing lamp and heated rear window. I mean, we need to point out to the younger listeners that in 1977 you could buy something like a mini 850 that had virtually nothing as standard. So listing these features on a Fiesta L was important and again and you know it makes me think of how cars are promoted over the years. One detail of the Ford broche, well one of many, is that they're using genuine models, whereas 20 years earlier, by and large, many uh car brochures used airbrushing as suspiciously small looking depictions of owners and their passengers.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

Yes, and and it's um and and I think that was probably because they didn't have the technology for the printing process of the photography I'm guessing. Um, but they also had these fantastic sort of graphic designer type people. I mean, even if you look in sort of autocar magazine at the time, it was um great drawings with like people like um is it Gordon Crosby, I think was one of the great used to do the cutaway design. Um so everything was kind of drawn, wasn't it? Or or was a kind of painting of of that time. Um, I mean, incredible. I mean, I I think it wasn't until the sort of 70s where it printing and photographic stuff was much more available, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00 9:50

And with uh with airbrush illustrations, you can, shall we say, make a Humber Pullman look the size of a coach. Yes. You can um make, shall we say, a Hillman Miggs look the size of a Humber Pullman. And again, I'm I'm you know, one you know, looking at various um brochures. Now this one is actually from BMC Australia. This is the Austin Lancer from 1958. What's the Austin Lancer, I hear you ask? ADO 16 or 1958. This is the body floor from the Wolseley 1500. Ah, yes. That's right, with a 1.5 litre engine, but it was built in Australia also as the Austin Lancer or the Morris Major. Ah, yes. That's right, and um looking at the picture, well, with a gentleman in a grey suit and a fedora looking jolly happy, and as a Lancer owner as well, he might be. I'd say that this Austin Lancer is about the size of your Aust average sort of lorry, and with four people in the front. Um, either that or he's not a particularly tall gentleman driving this vehicle. It's the joy of it's the absolute joy of um absolute joy of air absolute joy of airbrushing and illustrating you know, obviously it makes me want to go run out and buy the vehicle, but it also it also makes me have a look at some of the copy, you know, Austin Lancer, powered for plus performance, with beauty to match its power. It's the most triumphant Austin to ever take the road. And powered for a rocketing performance that sets new concepts in its class. Exclamation mark.

SPEAKER_03 11:57

That's quite something in terms of prose of time, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Really? It is. I mean, you you'd want to rocket yourself with an Austin Lance. You really would, yes. Maybe slightly taken aback if it's possible, less than rocket-like performance on the road, but the dream is all. Yes. And again, I mean what what car brochures made the most impact on you?

SPEAKER_03 12:24

Um well, I would certainly concur on the Ford brochures, but for me there was one very special one, which was the Citroen brochures of the time. Um now the majority of them were actual photographs, in as much as you would find like the Ford um brochures were. But the Citroen to TV, now the very first ones I saw would have been about 1977, and it was like a photo album of um two brothers, and it went through their various stages of getting their first cars, and one had a blue Diane, and one had a green 2 TV, and then they met girlfriends and what have you, and they went to see the um 2TV racing at I think Black Bush or somewhere. So it was a whole story of them basically going out and having a good time. And I was younger than these people then I'm thinking they look like they have real good fun. Wow, if you have a 2TV, you can go out and do all these exciting things. But the slightly later 2TV version um brochures, they had tinting on there, and they had tinting in like a sort of glass fishbowl space helmet type thing, and it was all beautiful tinting sort of animation all the way through. I mean, it was absolute work of art. Um, superb. I mean, I think the sit they were individual citron brochures, but um the the two C V brochures I think had a huge impact on me. They were absolutely superb.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Well, I'm looking now at a 1975 2C V UK market brochure, and it you know combines pictures of the actual de chevau with charming cartoons on how you can enjoy life in a 2CV with um genuinely you know musing co amusing copy, and I suppose ideal for its intended customer base in this country. Um I mean it basically it's a special way of doing things, visiting friends, moving house, seeing the country, going to work, having a picnic, seeing the sky, potentially it clips on the um folding roof veil, and having all kinds of fun, I'd agree with that one, etc. It's more than a car, it's a whole lifestyle, which I don't actually think is hyperbole. And yet that approach obviously I'd say would not work for selling a CX in the same year.

SPEAKER_03 15:16

No, no, not at all.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

It wouldn't and yet if we compare the Acitron promotion for the CX that same year, but you know, the charming off feet approach they use for the Dirce Bo just would not work. It's a completely different market. And I think what we're talking about, the Ford brocer we just mentioned, the Austin Lancer brocer for aspirational motorists in Sydney or Melbourne, the two C V motorist brocer for post-fuel crisis drivers in the UK. Absolutely perfectly pitched. And I think an example of getting it wrong is the all model British Raven brochures in the aftermath of the Ryder report, which I believe recommending the subsuming of the individual mates. So you have the Mini and the Daimo DS420 in the same brochure and it doesn't work. Could aspire one day to having the MD's for Granada gear. I don't think the same would work with a Mini 850 going up to a Daimler DS-420, because British Leyland was made up of so many different makes of so many different heritages. And because their range was so, frankly, incoherent anyway, it didn't work. You can understand why people thought of you know bracketing them as a Leyland brand may be an idea, but of course it wasn't, because you know emphasizing Leyland over Jaguar or Rover or Triumph or MG, let alone Austin or Morris, was not a particularly good idea. I mean, nothing they're interesting brochures, it also it also reminds us that Princess was a make, not a model. But I mean, do you remember those big all-model Leyland brochures? I mean, I I do. I just didn't as a child, and I'm bear in mind I was a horrible child, and a worse adult, I didn't enjoy them as much as the Ford brochures.

SPEAKER_03 17:19

No, the Ford brochures were definitely very special, and um I can recall regularly, if not quite every month, but certainly every um two months, going into my Ford dealer and getting the latest brochure because I eagerly would turn the pages to see the cars in different colours and outside different sort of buildings. And uh, wow, you know, there's now a um a forest green metallic capri um where previously it had a um a red Ford Capri travelling through France or something. So you could see um okay, this month Ford is saying it will be in front of a Lancaster bomber or or something like that. Um and and again with Ford, they had this um um, I'm trying to think it was about 1979, they did arrange it was supporting, I think, an RAF charity, and they came with wonderful posters with aircraft on them. So you had the Lancaster, you had Spitfire, Hurricane, and they had various Ford models um lined up in front of these these planes, and um I have it.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

I'm looking at it now, or it might be the same one. July August 1979. Has to be Ford Cortina Mark IVs lined up, painted red, beside the red arrows, please. Yes, that's it. Yes. I mean, basic what publicity, you know, you It's amazing. I mean, and this, you know, by now the Ford Fiesta S is taking part in a motorcycle scramble meeting. Yeah. It looks a bit like Kickstart. Yeah. There's the young lady doing her makeup in the Vanity Mirror. Yes, right. That's the one I was thinking of, yeah. That's the one, you know, it's the journey down journey down memory lane for us both and our listener in Portsmouth. Yep. So um we have the Cortina S. They're still using the um Red Ford Cortina gear saloon. But I'm going to scroll down now to the uh Ford Grenar Ford Granada lineup. The GL is looking um very handsome in red, which I have to say. But the big news, and this is something I remember when I was in Form 3, there's now a Ford Granada Gear Estate. Right. And here's one and a hunting party with lots of tweeds about. Yes. Encapsulates Ford's social ambition. You know, and again it's in Apollo green metallic. It looks superb. Lovely colour. And again, as you say, you check the brochures because Ford might introduce a trim level detail change and they would have a new picture. And of course, there was a this was the first gear badge to state. The Mark I was never a Belzer gear. It was only on the late Mark II quite a way into its run. So, as you say, it was always something worth looking at. And if it wasn't that, there might be an interesting special edition or an engine change and so forth. Um, the other thing it's always good fun looking at online are salesmen's guides, which tell you, of course, about you know how they see the car and you know what its uh strengths are, etc. I'm looking at the salesman's guide for the um Morris Ital. Wow, what did they say?

SPEAKER_03 20:54

Fast this accelerating car faster than the Mercedes-Benz 200, which is please don't.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Even at 10, I was laughing at that. I was a horrid 10. It wasn't so much the car Maurice Ital owner, some of my best friends are Ital owners. It's because the advertisement was so spectacularly over the top. Yes. I mean, I mean the announcer sounded it only the announcer was Patrick Allen, because Patrick Allen always sounded deep and over the top. So this is worse. Um it the music didn't help. It's a masterpiece of advertising. It was entertaining the most of the programs in 1980.

SPEAKER_03 21:32

So it's how the thing is as well, um, what people, unless they're driven a basic Mercedes 200, you could almost overtake faster by walking than a Mercedes 200. I know you wouldn't need uh Morris to Tower, he could walk faster.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

But the copyright people associate Mercedes Benz with speed rather than an overladen taxi in Frankfurt. Yeah. That's that's our brief, and we're Sticking to it. Yes, absolutely. So Morris Ital 1300L, what are its projected rivals? Ford Escort 1300L, Vauxwalk and Derby LS, there's a nearly forgotten car for them. Yeah. Highly rated by the motoring press. Vauxhall Chevette L four-door, that's and Sonny, they're all quite a bit smaller than the Italy as well, which we've seen. So let's go to the other end of the market. What are the Italy's HLS rivals? Okay. 1300 HLS. Um, no, no, no, let's let's let's be ambitious. Let's see what the uh 1700 HLS's rivals are, etc. Because, you know, if you have a car like this, you must go to the top. Right, so Morris Etin 1700 HLS, talk amongst yourselves. 1700 HLS estate. Rivals. Ford Courtina 1600 Gial Estate. Volkswagen Passat LS Estate, which I'm guessing would have been more expensive than the Atal. I'd have thought so. Toyota Cresida 2000 estate. That's a big estate car. Uh 1410 long, so it's a bit it's about six inches longer. It has a two-litre engine. It's a pleasant looking bus. I'd have certainly looked at it. Purple 504 estate. Ah I just don't see that being a direct rival.

unknown 23:31

No.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

You know, in any way, in any way. Different kind of owner, aren't they?

SPEAKER_03 23:37

I would think um, you know, the 504 owner would, you know, have a bigger family, perhaps.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

Probably more farmer.

SPEAKER_03 23:49

Yeah, probably sort of living, sort of nice place sort of stuff, London, something like that. Perhaps a bit more, they would probably take their holidays in France and um maybe a bit RT, something like that. Whereas um would that be the same customer as a Morris Ato? I'm not so sure.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

I'm not sure either. I'm guessing, and I'd be interested to hear from any Morris owners, that the Atow buyers would be inherited from the Marina, which was a big seller in the UK. Yes, it was. But they could offer the Marina owner the same formula but with many improvements and greater comfort.

unknown 24:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

But as as the conquest sales of a car like a Peugeot 504, I find that hard to be uh Ital 1300 HLS versus a Talbot Alpine 1.5 GL, yes, because the Ital has a separate boot, which was still a major sales factor in the UK at that time. Um, although obviously the Tolbut dealer from early AT almost also point to the Solara. If you wanted something, I think, with a more sporting image, Colt Lancer 1400. What interests you about the salesman cars, half of the many of these cars do no fault of their own, forgotten. Ital 1700L, one rival, Opal Ascona 1.6 Deluxe. Yesterdays, I think by 1980, apart from the Chavet, every voxel had an Opal equivalent. So again, um, you know, forget, hopefully, you your um prospective customers would not have seen a television advertising campaign, which unfortunately for you was you know very widely broadcast and probably equal it laughed at, etc. But concentrating on brochures, you can also see the change in cars over the years. Um, I think by the late 60s, Morris were promoting the Oxford Sixth Arena as a bastion of solid values, you know, because its styling hadn't changed for so long. Um so if you have an older model, concentrate on solid values. What about what about naked snobbery? Well that you know that has its um that of course has its um meaning, doesn't it? That has its place. Suppose you have uh Vantomplas 1500, which never make their badges, by the way. This is always a bit this is always a bit of a mistake, etc. Um I mean you just read this brochure here, you know a triumph of good design, and naturally it's totally luxurious. You'll find deep pile wall-to-wall carpet underfoot. Um dual armrests for everyone. You know, you basically, if Hyacinth Fouquet didn't have one of these fine vehicles, she'd make Richard go out and buy one. And buy one, yes, absolutely. I mean the phrase good quality has a distinctly old-fashioned ring, but there is a place for such traditional expression in today's frenetic, cost-conscious world. Um and this is the actual copy. Yes, that look of distinction.

SPEAKER_03 27:17

And of course it had a very imposing chrome grill, didn't it?

SPEAKER_00 27:22

And um you couldn't sell it without that. And I will give the photographer on a magazine photo chute who said of this fine vehicle, did the owner stick that on? Um it it's it I'm pretty charmed by the copy. My friend has one. I find it a deeply appealing machine. And again, that copy, you know, preaches to the Hyats at Buckingham or the retired head of the market. Yeah. And the grill does differentiate it from the standard top-of-the-range Austin Allegro. So, no, it I again I find that um so do you remember the um advertisements for the Austin 3 litre, which again was uh with a picture of a shooting party. Saying the Austin 3 liter was a thoroughbred, i.e., buy an Austin 3 liter, you can look down on the Vauxhall Viscount and the Ford Zodiac Executive. Death Harry's. This is an Austin 3 liter. Other subtext, 3 liter, for the man or lady who cannot afford to buy a Rover P5B and is really bitter about it. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

Does an Austin badge really sell prestige?

SPEAKER_00 28:34

Well, what do you think? Well, I think the idea wasn't because, and I like the 3-litre, it's one of the cars I've ever been in. Because its styling was rather low-key, elongated land crab, you emphasize that this is a car for people who want quiet quality, people who take value, whereas the Zodek said in the Vik out are more flamboyant. You can't use that knocking copy, you just um gently lead the reader to that conclusion. Hmm.

SPEAKER_03 29:06

So who would have bought a free?

SPEAKER_00 29:08

I mean, I don't think many people did actually buy feature, but some local authorities use them as I think transport for their senior officials. I think some government departments use them, some police forces use them. Right. Etc. They didn't sell, I think production was over by 70, but unsold stocks last until 71. And of course, their more or less their replacement was the six-cylinder 2.2 litre land crab introduced in 72. The problem challenge with a three-litre was that um say by 1969 you could have the Wolseley 1885 with the higher performance S spec. Alright, it doesn't have the self-leveling rear suspension or the larger boot, but the cabin is very comfortable, probably slightly more space because there's no um rear-wheel drive. And you save a fair bit of money. So why not go for the Wolseley and have all the extras like automatic transfer? You know, creating that sort of in-house in-house rival. I mean, I always thought that BMC, their badge engineering was often extremely unhelpful, but occasionally it might uh, shall we say, create a rather good vehicle like the Wolvesley 1885 or the Van der Plaas badged um Princess 1100, 1300, so on and so forth. But I'm again I'm I'm looking now at the art of airbrushing at the A60 Countryman brochure, A60 Cambridge Countrymen, again, lots of airbrushing. It's it's a formidable looking car, but um if you um you would be disappointed in your local Austin dealer if you were expecting uh it to be the size of, I'd say, a Leyland Tiger Cub bus. Of course, you could arrange the uh load base, you could sleep sleep there. And judging by one of the occupants, this Austin is approximately 10 feet tall and eight feet wide. It's a big car. It's a formidable car, but it's a formidable um, and again, it's a sales copy, I love. Um styled like a car, yet sturdily built, to withstand the buffeting which by its secondary purpose it's likely to get. I love that. I do love the sales copy of that era, etc.

SPEAKER_03 31:32

They were a workhorse though, weren't they? I mean, many a minicab fleet had strings of farinas, didn't they, in various sort of shapes and forms.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

I'll swear that Southampton still had Morris Oxford spirit six minicabs into the early 80s.

unknown 31:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

It wouldn't have been entirely impossible. Yes, I think provincial and rural taxi firms did like them, robust, very big booth, easy to serve. I think with the Austin and Morris, you could also specify a column change. I have seen, there's on YouTube, someone demonstrating the four on the column with their uh I think Oxford Farina. And I don't think that was particularly popular over here. Now again, another gem for um you know, Austin Maxi sales prompt cards for dealers. Highlight new clean smooth lines, highlight compact spaciousness, highlight stylish, easy, clean grill, highlight arrangement of the lamp splashes, highlight rubber-faced overriders. Um and a and again, you know, Aidman, you know, you obviously the seat reclining on the maxi was a major, major factor, and it then this instructs the dealer what to tell the client. Tell them what an exciting car it is to drive, tell them what a versatile it is, tell them let's try it on the road. I mean, it's a very authoritarian world, you know, being an Austin Maxi dealer, you're told what to do at every at every sort of turn. I think it's a this is getting off somebody brocious, but my favourite car dealer gimmick of all time ever is sixty years old this year. It's the Ford Cortina Mark II promotional record. Okay. Um New Cortina is more Cortina.

SPEAKER_03 33:37

Yes, that's when they got was it the Crossflow engines, the Mark II 67?

SPEAKER_00 33:45

This is 66. You have the new swinging London style, this is a Mark II. And so I think so. Your dealerships would arrange speakers, and I think you put the Cortina record in the boot from a player, and you'd have a sort of Tom Jones style singer bellowing about its many virtues. The new Cortina is more Cortina. It's on YouTube. It is the one of the greatest records of 1966. Forget the Beatles, forget the Rolling Stones, forget the Kinks, even forget the Zombies, whom I really like as a pop group. No, no, no. You need New Cortina is more Cortina. Um, but again, it it it it creates an atmosphere of suburban glamour, if you like. Yeah, yeah. And again, we we talk about the Maxi in 1969. It technically replaced the Austin A60 Cambridge, so you need to introduce your customer base to forget what a remarkable technical specification it was for a family car. Five-speed gearbox, that engine, no, no more overhead valves for the maxi, purple reclining seats, five doors. I mean, how are you going to persuade someone to trade in their A60? It's a completely new concept. The only familiar aspect were the doors from the Austin Land Crab, and that was a cost-cutting measure, I think, forced upon um BMC by um their accountants. Yeah. And no, I mean, so what's the most ludicrous car brochure you've ever seen?

SPEAKER_03 35:22

Oh, the most ludicrous one. Um let me think. Um I think they were quite dull. Um say ludicrous, but um I can remember going into a truck field tip, um which was called IVO truck at the time. And I'm talking about 7778. And they gave me this massive title. And the point that they were trying to get across is how tough the vehicle's called. So I actually gave you a from the broker. I told you to try and tear it. And it was pipe. And I don't know what type of pipe it was, and it was kind of uh you must have been had a photo or a sort of vinyl coating or something. And I actually told you that you will never be able to tear this piece of paper because it's built like a craft where I decode. And I think I thought incredible, and for years I tried to tell that. And I never ever could. Um but it really got across. I mean what would probably not. Um what is it the right kind of thing to like um I manage a fleet manager or something like that? I don't know, maybe a fleet manager with a 2020. If you compare that to the lighting to be a code, um I got a um of like sort of trump card. And it was in a sort of titan, you had a card that you could have you could almost play trump open. Like everything from the EI van, arena vans, all the titans, all the tables roll out of the title, terrible Matters, the marathons, all the lighting commercial books all the time, or in the book of cards. Um yeah, I mean things you kind of wouldn't see now, really, but that that I think I really sticks in my mind. I mean, what incredible thing. I wish I still had it. It's probably extremely rare. But um yeah, eventually we must have thrown it away. So it obviously didn't last. Well the fact that you remember it to me.

SPEAKER_02 38:01

It worked.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

Yes, it definitely absolutely absolutely worked. I I mean, a brochure that I found appealing, yet with I think a slight smack of desperation was the Chrysler UK lineup brochure for 1974. Okay. The problem is it's completely incoherent, the lineup. So obviously you start with the imps. Yeah. And they're photographed naturally in Edinburgh. So why naturally? They should have been photographed in Paisley. Um then, of course, uh 1974 Avengers in Brighton. And then, of course, we have the Hunters in Stratford. And then, of course, we have the Chrysler 182-litre in Bar, because of course, um they originally they were meant to be built here and sold as a Humber and a Hillman and a Sunbeam, that never happened. And so there were bad as Chrysler, which had no real market impact whatsoever. And we scroll up further, there's the Humber Scepter, the last carbon Humlin, there's the Sunbeam Rapier in Cambridge, but that's not all. Because Chrysler UK did has also carried Simkas.

unknown 39:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

So here's the Simpson 1000, the 1100, and the 1501. It's a completely chaotic lineup. Yeah. But that's not all. They also marketed Australian built big Chryslers.

SPEAKER_03 39:33

Well, the Valiants, maybe?

SPEAKER_00 39:35

Yes. So here's some Valiants in Windsor.

SPEAKER_03 39:39

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 39:40

I mean, can you think of a more I mean obviously I like the Valiant Regal Estate. I think they're I think they're very appealing. I do like those sort of American Aussie hybrids. Yeah. But what a totally incoherent brochure compared with, say, Ford, etc. Yeah. I mean, I mean, there's absolutely there's neither rhyme nor reason. They've also put in a picture of a comma auto home, just to make sure it wasn't confusing enough. Are you confused? Well, you will be now. So, on the other hand, um, you know, for you know, for glamour, you need the 1966 voxel brochure. I'm sure you'd agree with that. Is that all modeling those days? It's all modeled, etc. Really? I mean, I mean, look, I mean, basically clean cut, sleek and racy. That's the FC Series VX490, in case you were wondering. Okay. Um, you know, there's the uh new PC Cresta, the uh first voxel with Coke bottle styling. Yeah. Yeah. Sleek, sumptuous, stylish, fast, with new space curve styling for even more spaciousness. Cresta. Six cylinder motoring in the grand manner. I mean, you know, you you'd want to run out and buy one, wouldn't you? You would definitely. And it's a super and it's a superb tour. And you can order as an extra power glide, the world's finest automatic transmission. We put in a big close-up of the Deluxe twin headlamps. Here's another picture of the single headlamp cresta standard. Don't notice it. Don't look at it up. Uh, it's um and of course it fascinates because uh as a child, voxel cresta PCs tended to look semi-derelict at that time. You know, large, cheap um six-seaters you bought from the Daily Echo or Auto Trader. Not entirely in a decent state of repair. So it was really wonderful to see them looking as they were when they were new.

SPEAKER_02 41:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:57

And again, it's a it's a pl you can tell as you're looking at this brochure, even if you want an expert, that the HAVA is definitely on the way out. You could tell because it doesn't look uh coherent compared to the Victor and the Crestor. So so again, I I'm I do enjoy looking at brochures of the of that period. I mean, in terms of um other car brochures, other sort of um other giveaways, I think there should be more promotional songs about cars, etc. Um I mean, obviously the Ford Cortina song sets, you know, you know, sets this sort of standard very well. I mean, why not at that time you could um you know you could follow Simon D's advice and send him, was it several crisp rappers and received the Swinging Smith's Crisps disc. Yeah, wow. Um Eden Kane recorded Hot Chocolate Crazy for Cadbury. Wow. It's one of the greatest records ever. I will have nothing said about it. So so no, I'm and again, language changes over the years in terms of uh cocky, in terms of life. So, I mean, if you look at the uh post-war brochure for the slough-built citron track salavant, um again, they sound like a headmaster. The inherent qualities of the front-wheel track of citron make it a go-anywhere car. It can be seen all over the road, operating successfully under the most extreme climatic and road conditions. Right. Take a hundred lines, Smith Major.

SPEAKER_03 43:36

I was gonna say it sounds like you're gonna test you on this later, doesn't it, really?

SPEAKER_00 43:41

Pay attention, pay attention. Only in a citron can you obtain a combination of so many special features, forming a complete and perfect design and giving so many advantages in every phase of motoring. And again, you know, this pompous sounding language to us, how many motorists? Would you be familiar with front-wheel drive then? Not many. Um notice they emphasise the polished walnut fascia board. Which of course is uh one of the trademarks of the slough-built citron. Here is a car that has stood the test of time and gained an enviable reputation among motorists all over the world. You know, so again, you know, you how I mean, I wouldn't turn on Trucksell on, etc. Funnily enough, I was um last night I was watching one of the BBC Magray, which makes me want to um own the six-cylinder version with hydro pneumatic rear suspension. Younger listeners may not be familiar with either Truck Sale One or May Gray, to which I say you probably well should be.

SPEAKER_03 44:46

So bringing it around to the future then, current times, um obviously now we don't have the brochure in its beautiful artwork and photography forms, but now of course you can have something called a configurator. So if I want to go on to the BMW website to take a look at my five series, and I want to choose the colours, I can call up the they'll all be in various shades of metallic grey, as you would imagine. And I can click on those colours and um I can change the colour of the car. I can add my alloy wheels to it, um, and I can even choose from a myriad shades of various different special paint. So and I have to say, in some ways, that actually gives me quite a lot of joy, very similar joy, but totally different to the way the car brochures did in years gone by. And um I think there's something there with a modern configurator. It is really the modern version of the car brochure, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 46:06

And in times future, there'll be people of our age now saying, I remember that configurator every day. Which is part for it is part of the cycle of um classic car life.

SPEAKER_03 46:22

It is, absolutely. And as they said at Jaguar um last week, um it it is absolutely that, isn't it? It's the current, which is actually the history for the future, isn't it? I don't know where it will go in terms of moving on from a configurator. Um who knows? But that's the excitement of how cars will be marketed if we still have them in 30 odd years' time, which I'm sure we will in some way, shape, or form, um, they'll need to be sold and they need to be some creative marketing to do it. And and that is ultimately what the brochure and the configurator is. It's it's creative marketing, isn't it? I think so.

SPEAKER_00 47:06

But to finish our podcast this evening, if I may, I'm going to anyway, but I like to give it a few more curtis. Um, could a configurator ever equate with the brochure for the Wolseley 699, very modestly titled The Finest Wolseley of All? I don't think it can, Andrew. I really don't think it can. Ever since Mosling began, the name Wolseley has identified the progression of cars, a remarkable number of which m remain memorably significant to the student of design. Yes. I mean, you know, I mean, what more could you say, really? You just can't say any more than that, can you?

SPEAKER_03 47:44

You can't.

SPEAKER_00 47:46

Functional efficiency is thematic of the Wolseley 699 styling concept, which reads a lot better than the Wolfie 699 will be really popular with various police forces and bank managers who can't afford a rover three litre or a humble super snipe. Now I will have not a word about it. Again, use of airbrushing, fantastic use of um two-tone paintwork finishes, etc. Finish for luxury motoring at its best. Closing the doors requires only the lightest effort. Oh, really? Not my experience. Not my experience, etc. Um And of course there's a picture of um Piccadilly at night, because obviously with a two-tone green Woolsey 699, you are going to hit the West End. Of course you are. You know, it's I I no, absolutely you are definitely going to hit the you're definitely going to hit the West End. Um I gain I'm sorry, I I'm actually I own one, and now this makes me want to go out and buy another one. It's the power, it's the power it's the power of these brochures, etc. Um again if you were used to the 699, 690 rather, the predecessor, which had been in production for about five years, yes, it would need a different selling technique because you know, a big wolvesie with tail fins, that's disgraceful, you know. That's a bit like Richard Timbleby wearing a teddy boy suit with a panorama. What on earth is the world coming to? You know, first the goon show and now this ITV and now wolsies with tail fins. It's a the whole world is going to the dogs, you know. What next? You know, sort of Adam Faith being interviewed on face to face. No, disgraceful. So no, these brochures are social doctors, they're social history. They are. Yeah. Brightly coloured social history. It tells you about the aspirations of the uh prospective owner, it tells you about the uh the ideas and the hopes of the various manufacturers, etc. And it tells you of the days when a heat of de mister was seen as a significant luxury feature. Yes. On that note, I'm going to look at the latest repair bill for the Wolseley, because it's all part of the joyous experience. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 50:13

I was going to say that wasn't in the brochure, was it?

SPEAKER_00 50:15

No, they never they never really intervention they never really mentioned intervention sort of little little details like that. But was it a brochure on that print advertisement? A picture of a lady sat in a deck chair mounted in the boot of a Ford Console classic. That's a big boot on those. It is a big boot, and that's again, and with brochures sometimes you take away the you know, just these fleeting memories. These sort of various little details of the images, which shows again how well they were executed. Yeah. Right. Go to look at the Wolfie repair bill as if not mentioned at BMC Publicity.

SPEAKER_03 50:53

So good night, Bryant, and our listener reports with a very nice evening, Andrew, and uh we'll see you very soon. Good night. Good night, listeners.

SPEAKER_00 51:04

Good night, listener.